1. "Good work."
Research has shown that launching a generic phrase such as "Good Girl" or "Way" every time your child dominates a skill makes their addiction to their claim rather than their own motivation, says Jenn Berman, a psychologist, Author the A to Z Guide to Raising Kids, Happy Confidence. Save the congratulations are really justified and be as specific as possible. Instead of "big game", it says: "It was a good help I love the way your teammate looked for it .."
2. "Practice is perfect."
It is true that the longer your child spends more skills will be sharp. However, this word can increase the pressure you feel when you win or excel. "It sends the message that if you make mistakes, you have not trained enough," said Joel Fish, Ph.D., author of 101 Ways to Be a Terrible Sports Parent. "I've seen the kids fight, asking," What's wrong with me? I practice, practice, practice, and I'm still not the best. "Instead, encourage your child to work hard because he will improve and feel proud of their progress.
3. "You're good."
When his son scratches his knee and burst into tears, his instinct may be to assure him that he was not seriously injured. But telling her that she's okay can only make it worse. "Your son is crying because he did not agree," says Dr. Berman. Your job is to help understand and cope with your emotions and not belittle. Try to give her a hug and acknowledge her feelings by saying something like, "It's a fall from fear." Then ask if you would like a bandage or a kiss (or two).
4. "Hurry up!"
His son DEAVALLE his breakfast, insists on tying his shoes (although he has not yet mastered the art) and is ahead to be late for school - again. But the push forward creates additional stress, says Linda Acredolo, Ph.D., co-author of Baby Minds. Smooth your lightness, saying, "Hurry," which sends the message that everyone is on the same computer. You can also transform the act of grooming for a game: "Why do not you tell to see who can have your pants first"
Do you need help remembering what not to say? Use our graphic practice.
5. "I'm on a diet."
Do you look at your weight? Keep it to yourself. If your child sees that he goes to the scale every day and hear you talk about being 'big', you can develop an unhealthy body image, says Marc S. Jacobson, MD, professor of pediatrics and epidemiology at the University Medical Center Nassau, East Meadow, New York. It's better to say "I eat healthy because I love the way it makes me feel." Take the same route to work. "I have to exercise" may sound like a complaint, but "It's nice outside - I'm going to walk" can encourage them to join you.
6. "We can not afford it."
It is easy to use this default answer when your child asks for the last toy. But in doing so, it sends the message that you do not control your finances, which can be scary for children, says Jayne Pearl, author of children and money. Class Students may also be called on this claim and if in turn made a costly purchase for the home. Choose another way to convey the same idea, for example, "We're not going to buy it because we save money for more important things." If she insists on a new debate, she has a perfect window to start a conversation about how to budget and manage money.
7. "Do not talk to strangers."
This is a difficult concept for young children to understand. Even if a person is not familiar, you can not think of him as a foreigner who is kind to her. In addition, children can take that rule the wrong way and resist using police or nonfamily firefighters, says Nancy McBride, executive director of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Florida Regional Office, Lake Park. Instead of warning foreigners evokes scenarios ("What would you do if a man does not know you offer candy and a car at home?") Ask him to explain what she would then guide the
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